Help with painful intercourse?

I think a really good lubricant would help (not KY, try something from an adult shop). I've been married for 3 years and with my husband for 10... sometimes it still hurts! I think it depends on where I am in my cycle and how relaxed I am. When I'm not in the mood or not enjoying it I find it hurts more... but a lack of lubrication almost makes me feel like it is causing my canal to swell and hurt even more ( if that makes sense ?)